A information letter from Sister Patricia
To my dear friends,
Visit me at Joy in Recovery
Sooo, my summer break, turned into fall, then winter and now beginning to hint of spring. I guess it's time to poke my head out of hiding and let you know how I am and how life is
going. Do sit down because there are some surprises here.
My place of refuge has been at a beautiful treatment center for women religious with addiction. No--I wasn't drinking the altar wine or slipping pills out of the Infirmary
medicine cabinet but if anyone had noticed I was doing a few too many things. Radio, Books, Internet all on top of being a cloistered, contemplative nun. (Yes, a few of
you did inquire where the contemplative was fitting in.)
At any rate - as my "work addiction" did not show any sign of slowing down or going away - God stepped in with an offer to "come apart and rest awhile." When the
chance first came up - I was looking more for escape then cure. I knew I was doing too much and the thought of not doing anything for awhile was like being offered
a chance to breathe pure oxygen when I'd only been taking in ten percent.
Another big reason I wanted to come was that before I entered the monastery in 1981, I had been in the Navy. In the Navy I had gotten into drugs and toward the end
of my four year stint I was sent to a Naval Drug Rehabilitation center. It was a good place and a bad place. I learned some things, pronounced rehabilitated and sent
on my merry way back into Naval life. Unfortunately the "cure" did not last and before long I was back to my old lifestyle.
A year after I left the Navy with an honorable discharge my brother Mike died. This was the first member of my immediate family to be called to God and I found it
very hard. I went from being one hundred per cent out of the Church to one hundred percent in. God comforts when no one else can.
A few weeks after my brother's death - I got involved with the Charismatic movement. A few months after that I started looking at religious life. In the fall of
1981 I entered the monastery.
The monastery has been a wonderful place for me for the last twenty-eight years. I believe it was God's way to protect me from a life that could have gotten very
destructive. I experienced a lot of healing and growth in the monastery. I made wonderful friends with my sisters in community and many extended friendships in the
Church. I was allowed the freedom to explore my talents and gifts in many ways that might never have happened in any other environment. What I didn't find was
recovery from my addiction.
It went into hiding and slipped out in new ways.
Science now has proven that addiction, whether drug, alcohol, food or any other manifestation it might take - is a biological, brain disorder. It doesn't go away.
Like diabetes there is a lifestyle treatment for it and people can live a very good and healthy life but without treatment it only continues to get worse and often
splits off into new manifestations. With me, that became work.
I have a very highly, creative personality. I love to experience and work on new things. In a normal person with my personality when one takes on something new - they
drop the old or move it on a back burner or find a lifestyle that allows for a lot of fast, paced changing work. Unfortunately my lifestyle was not fast paced and
with any new job I took on, I could never let go of the old one.
It took a great many years for my new addiction to become totally overwhelming and too much to handle. But it happened. Thankfully God and my sisters intervened
before I had a total melt down. Last Spring a chance came up for me to experience a week at a treatment center for women religious at Guest House in Lake Orion.
I was very touched by what I experienced there and when the offer was extended for me to enter the program I prayed about it and decided it was a good thing to do.
I had no idea it would be such a long visit. I had no idea that I would discover who I was in a totally beautiful and freeing new way. I learned things about myself
through this treatment that has been the gift of a lifetime. It hasn't been easy, there have been a lot of very dark and painful moments but each experience has deepened
my love for God, for others and myself. For the first time I felt brave enough to explore and own my deepest fears and insecurities.
I learned to love and accept myself as simply me.
In a few weeks I will return to my monastery but I am asking for a year of medical leave to continue my recovery. Normally sisters who come to Guest House return to
their own communities to continue their recovery but one of the things I discovered about me was that the "life of enclosure" was very, very hard for me. In a lot of
ways, the work I was doing was a way to "cope" with being enclosed.
I would like to take this year to see if I can become solid enough in my recovery to return to the enclosed life in a year - or whether I should explore my vocation
in an active community or as a lay person. My life of prayer is deeper then it has been in a long time, and my trust that God is guiding me each day whether in our
out of the monastery, allows me to face what I never dreamed to do with peace and confidence.
I love my sisters in Spokane. I love the monastic life in a thousand ways but it is not an easy life for me. My community has been supportive of my decision and I
will continue to be in touch with them throughout this time. If I do return in a year or so, I know I will be a stronger and better religious for this opportunity.
The sisters will continue to run the card site, radio station and hopefully even these JoyNote messages while I am away. If you would like to follow me on my new
journey of faith, I started a new blog site this evening (very simple) and I would love to keep in touch with you.
Joy In Recovery - my new blog while on leave.
God's ways are always good - and His Goodness Endures Forever.
With you in God's Peace and Love,
Sister Patricia
Franciscan Monastery of Saint Clare, 4419 N Hawthorne St, Spokane, WA 99205, USA
You may still visit her Free Holy E-cards Website
Quote for the Day:
God is our refuge
and our strength
an ever-present help in distress.
Psalm 46:2
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